


a mess (drabble collection) ((kinda))

by fictionalrobin



Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Anger, Angst, Based off Music, Battle Couple, Bodyswap, Depression, Drabble Collection, Drugs, Experimental, Fluff, Guns, Hurt Alec Lightwood, Hurt Magnus Bane, Kidnapping, M/M, Much More - Freeform, Protective Magnus Bane, Protectiveness, Sad Alec Lightwood, Sad Magnus Bane, Stargazing, Suicide Attempt, Violence, alota drugs, and other fun stuff, curse, spell, tags may be edited, theres not just sad stuff in here, writers block, y r all ma songs about drugs?
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-01-09
Updated: 2018-01-09
Packaged: 2019-03-02 17:20:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,237
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13322886
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fictionalrobin/pseuds/fictionalrobin
Summary: for the past couple of months, every time i hit a writers-block, i'd shuffle my music and write the first thing that came to mind.vote in the comment on which of these you'd like me to continue, and feel free to add how you'd like it to play out.





	a mess (drabble collection) ((kinda))

[Wrecking ball – mother mother](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Dao5P8Mqkzw)

The plate shattered into a million tiny pieces, the shards raining down like confetti. Next followed the lamp, his wine glass, four more plates, and a photo frame. All of which were slung against the walls of the loft, some leaving dents in the plaster, while others, like the plate, simply smashed 

Still Magnus kept throwing. He kept throwing and breaking, even though it'd been hours, his limbs were sore, and his hands were bleeding.  

 _A_ _fter_ _all_ _that's_ _what_ _he's_ _best_ _at_. 

 _B_ _reaking_ _stuff_ _._  

He grabbed the nearest object (a glass) and threw it at the floor, where it exploded into a rain of shards. The shrill sound numbed his brain and burned his torso. Fire ran through his veins and smoked clogged his head, as he grabbed another glass and sent it flying after the first.  

He spun around, storming through the loft like a tornado of destruction, demolishing anything in sight. Sure, soon he'd be done, and then nothing would be there to stop his emotions from flooding over him, drowning him. But he didn't have to worry about that, not right now. Not when splinters and glass flew around his head like bullets.  

 

[Blue spotted tail – fleet foxes ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=teElNB0WuDI)

The wind swung through the window and tossed the curtains around in soft waves. They fluttered against Alec, and he shivered in his thin cotton T-shirt.  

He probably should go back to bed.  

He knew that, but he couldn't move, not while the stars shone so bright, like fairy lights strung across the black sky. They twinkled, like the city lights far below.  

Another blow of cool midnight air brushed over Alec's skin, sending ripples of shivers down his neck. A strange peace had settled at the bottom of his stomach, like a warm blanket wrapped around his hips, yet it was no match against the frigged November wind.  

Still he stayed. He stayed there, hypnotized by the night sky and it's lights.  

 

[Sleeping powder – gorillaz  ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GzJGWAfmBco)

_(tw: drugs)_

The celling swirled above his head. Bended and twisted like his mind. A heavy, droopy feeling had swallowed his mind and slowed his thoughts. Washed him away with his depth-perception.  

He lifted the blunt again, and took another hit. The smoke curled and burned it's way into his lounges and out his blood. He opened his mouth and let the smoke wash over his face, like an upside down waterfall.  

He giggled. 

Upside down waterfall. How cool would that be? If waterfalls were actually upside down? 

Somehow, this seemed unbelievably hilarious. Maybe it was the tingling in his fingertips, or the way the world bended and stretched around him like a giant rubberband.  

Either way he was happy to let it bend. To let himself melt and be gone, disappear between the folds of the universe. 

 

[For evigt – volbeat   ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TAhyZegVkhw)

_(tw: death)_

Magnus streched his hand out, fingers scrabbing against the rocky terrain. He grimaced, when the wound in his side to tore. Pain shot through him like lightning, and numbed his fingers. Still, he clawed himself across the landscape, moss and pebbles scratching his skin and drawing blood. 

He had to get to Alexander.  

He had to. 

Just before the last embers of life petered out in him, he wanted to lay next to Alexander, wanted to hold his hand, even if it was cold and still, and look at him, just one last time. 

He could see him, lying there on the steppe-land, completely motion less. A gabbing wound flamed against his pale neck like a burning red eye. A cloud of steam erupted from it, indicating how fresh the cut still was. 

The middle of Magnus's vision was turning white, and the color was slowly spreading. He crawled faster, desperate to reach his lover before the end. He streched a little further, even if it meant excruciating pain, and his fingertips brushed to edge of Alec's coat.  

His mind was shortcutting, shutting down with his senses as the whiteness grew faster. But he was so close, he just had to crawl a little further, and then he'd be with Alexander when he fell over the edge and disappeared. He'd be with him to hold his hand the whole time, and walk down the road with him into eternity.  

And when tomorrow opened it's eyes, and the night went away, they'd both be gone, gone together.  

 

[Neighbour – mother mother ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X1XuaOp3uOA)

02:28 

That's what the alarm clock read that night, and It wasn't the first time Alec woke at this time. It wasn't the first time the he was alone either.  

The other side of the bed was empty. He hadn't even bothered to check, he just knew. It was strange, how he'd developed this 6th sense. Every time Magnus got up in the night, he'd wake up too.  

He rolled around in the sheets, his limbs sore from slumber, before he rubbed his eyes and got up.  

The night air crept its cold hands around his naked torso, as he made his way towards the livingroom. Magnus must've opened the window. He did that some times, when he had to think. Alec suspected it had something to do with the sounds.  

He was sitting on the sofa, but contrary to his comfortable setting, his posture was stiff. Stripes of tears marked his cheekbones, slit down the side of his nose and flowed together at his chin, like a shimmering, shaky Y.  

Alec swallowed, as a heavy rose bloomed in his stomach, the thorns scratching his lounges. He didn't enter the livingroom. Magnus needed his space, he knew that. Besides, if he intrigued, tried to help, he'd only be met with fake smiles and false claims. He'd seen it so many times. Heard the lies so many times, but each time he'd seen the truth in his eyes. He knew Magnus would never confess. He knew he felt, used, betrayed, like he couldn't trust Alec anymore. So Alec stayed hidden behind the door, peeking through the crack.  

 

[Hayloft – mother mother  ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wiXvDsHfpdk)

_(tw: gun violence (not really but still))_

His breath was uneven.  

Heavy. 

Yet he stood still 

The riffle rested against his shoulder. The rusty metal gleamed in the sunlight. Alec swallowed hard, pressing himself against the wall, despite his acing wounds. The hay rattled underneath him.  

Magnus didn't move. Only pressed the gun closer to his cheek.  

He didn't even know that Magnus could fire a gun. Which was kinda stupid. The man had been alive for centuries, of course he knew how to handle a weapon. Quite well in fact. He'd knocked down six of their attackers in a matter of minutes.  

Yet the seventh remained.  

He was pressed against the wall, not unlike Alec. Only difference being, that the gun was directed at him rather than protecting him.  

 

[Psycho – system of a down ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LIWG4Xn6m0U) 

_(tw: magnus is a drug addict here cuss ya know, de songs about drugs)_

Magnus struggled against the handcuffs. The metal dug into his sweaty skin in an uncomfortable manner. In any other situation, being in handcuffs would've been absolutely fine with him. But he had to admit; a clammy cell wasn't exactly his ideal location for that kind of activity.  

He grunted and gave up on the handcuffs. Shit. Maybe he should avoid getting captured right before his fix wore off. He could still feel the OxyContin pumping in his veins, but it was weak. His hands were already shaking. 

Footsteps sounded from outside his cell, and he squinted his eyes at the bars.  

"Magnus Bane," the voice was smooth and bitter like coffee foam,"never thought I'd find you with one of these in your pocket."  

The masculine figure was still hidden in shadows, but Magnus could hear the pill jar rattle. He groaned and crawled closer to the bars,"I'm afraid that's none of your business." 

Silence. Magnus was just about to comment on the lack of response, when he realised. The man was laughing at him. One of those silent clucky laughter some people have. 

"that may be true. I really have no interest in you," he could hear him move around.  

"then why don't you just let me go?"  

The man kneeled in front of the bars, so Magnus could finally see his face. As well as the circle-rune on his neck,"because the Head of the New York Institute does."  

 _Alexander_  

"...what do you want?"  

The man shifted a bit, holding the pill-bottle up to the light and turning it,"I wanna help you out Magnus, so I'm willing to make a deal."  

"you have nothing that I want," Magnus growled, eyes darting towards the pills.  

A small smile curled the outer corner of the mans lips, and he flicked the orange plastic so the tablets rattled,"that's where your wrong."  

He placed the bottle on the ground. Only ten centimeters from the bars. Close, so close that everything in Magnus wanted to scream. But his hands were tied. Literally.  

"I could just leave you, just like this, pills and everything," he swiped a finger over Magnus' forehead (Magnus had never been this close to bitting someones finger off) and inspected it,"judging by how much you're already sweating, that won't be very nice."   

Magnus clenched his jar,"or?"  

"or, I'll give you these," he tapped the lid softly 

A little childish voice inside started wailing. _Yes_ _yes_ _yesyesyesyes_ _pleeeease_. 

"what's the catch," he groaned instead.  

"you're gonna help me get Alec, or _Alexander_ as you like to call him, to me. Alone, unarmed, and unprepared."  

Magnus dropped his glamour with a glare, partly hoping that the man would melt away at the sight. Like superman. It was unlikely, but who knew,"that will never happen."  

"choose Magnus, what's more important to you?" The man rose, ignoring Magnus' outburst,"Alexander, or your addiction?" 

Then he turned around and walked away. 

 

[Evergreen – broods](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k3ecsAd-NMY)  

_(tw: death???)_

Strangely enough, in the face of destruction, all he felt was peace. 

The grey light from the overcast sky gave a nice blank background, and the dark leaves worked as an elegant frame. It was really a fitting last view.  

He blinked, slowly.  

It was spreading. 

He could feel it curl up his legs, hardening his bones. His feet were already gone. Replaced by roots, embedded deep within the forest floor.  

There was nothing he could do. No way for him to stop it. Maybe he should be scared. He felt like he should be scared. But all he sensed was the forest spreading through his veins, his arms rising into the air and his blood turning to resin.  

Someone was shouting his name, and he closed his eyes. No, he didn't wanna focus on that. Not right now. Just the dirt. The leaves, his limbs elongating and solidifying.  

It was beautiful really. So peaceful. Like he was slowly sinking, sinking deep into the ground. Warm.  

In the last second, right before the wood reached his neck and moss sprouted from his skin, he opened his eyes and looked into a horrified pair of deep brown. Brown. Brown like the earth and his bark.  

Brown. 

 

[Do the evolution – pearl jam](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aDaOgu2CQtI)  

Lilliths black eyes sparkled like dragon scales in the fire. A wide grin spread across her face, as she rose from the flames, her naked body twisting and turning like a snake.  

"nephillim!" Her voice was like a million ants crawling over Alecs skin,"how lovely to see you're still around." 

Behind him, Izzy sneared,"where's Magnus?"  

"oh, my stepson?" She wrinkled her nose,"immatireal."  

Alec clenched his bow.  

"let's have some fun, shall we?" Lillith then raised her arms, and the flames shot up behind her like a cape. Her hair twirled into the air like worms as she send a wall of flames towards them. 

 

 

[Ghosting – mother mother](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tlAiq0_BXac)

_(tw: suicide attempt)_

The floorboards creaked softly under his feet as he tread out of the bedroom. The wood was cold. Cold and rough. Maybe he should've worn socks.  

But it didn't matter.  

The wind sieved in from the window. It caressed Magnus' legs and naked torso. Cold. Like the floorboards. Like his feet. He'd thought his mind would be cold too, completely numb and white, just like it'd been this entire month. Blank. Like someone had changed the channel in his brain to a dead one, that only showcased static.  

But instead he felt like he was burning. His mind was brighter than ever, even brighter than the time on the bridge, because _this_ _time,_ _this_ _time he_ _was_ _actually_ _gonna_ _do it._  

He'd reached the window by now. He could here the sound of the cars underneath him, moving around like a million glowing ants. The window ledge felt so terribly short, so inviting. 

He lifted his foot, crawling up into the window.  

He was crouching in the window now, his sweaty palm the only thing holding him up. 

 _A_ _ll_ _he'd_ _have to do_ _was_ _let go_  

He could already feel himself flying, a spiralling sensation twisting through him like a burning leech.  

 _D_ _o_ _it do_ _it do it do it do it_  

He leaned forwards. The wind brushed over his face and smoothed his hair back. His fingers quivered against the frame and slowly, he loosened his grip, until he was hanging on the edge of his fingertips. 

 _J_ _ust a_ _little_ _more_ _, just a_ _little_ _more_  

A hand grabbed his wrist. 

 

 

 

 

 


End file.
